What Happened to Your Dog?

Here's a guest post from Sandy Ervin!

As a lifelong Massachusetts resident, this one hurts a bit, but it's time.

The last Kennedy
Is Arnold Schwarzenegger
"It's not a tumor!"

Weekend at Bernie's

Biggest Ponzi scheme
But now Madoff has cancer
All's right with the world

America's Next Top Hanging

Next on VH1
So You Think You Can Murder
Everyone loses

Mexico Legalizes Drugs

Drugs are legal now
Marijuana Mexico
Crack in my tacos.

Tsunami Revisited

Little Asian kids
Making Nikes on a beach
Cowabunga, dude.

Over here, Mr. President

Don't touch my health care
Why'd I bring my forty-five?
No reason, really...

Nothing Bad Ever Happens to the Kennedys

Eunice K. Shriver
Liberals flock from all around
Goodbye, Crypt keeper

Don't You Forget About Him

Molly Ringwald was
Pretty in Pink but will she
Be Pretty in Black?

Mark Sanford's Favorite Mountains

Appalachian Trail
By "Appalachian" I meant:
Patagonia

You'll Get Caught Up in the...

No more Crossfire
For Bob Novak anymore
Except Hell, of course

Guest Post!

First of all, I want to thank Karl of karlthoughts for his shoutout this morning! Who better to appreciate a fine TooSoonku than a man who knows his way around a Woodsman reference? Please check out Karl's site when you have a few moments.

He was also nice enough to submit our first gaming TooSoonku:

Madden 10 is here.
I play on while girlfriend sighs.
No more sex for me.

The Greatest Generation (to kill)

Barack's health care plan
Sounds good for the uninsured
Let's put Nana down

John Edwards' Inner Monologue

I've never cheated.
Okay, once, but I'm not Dad.
Dammit, here's a check.

Who Wears the Pantsuits?

Hillary Clinton
It's cute that you have a thought
But what does Bill think?

Climate Change Advice

Sorry, Eskimos
Sea levels are rising fast
Time to learn to surf?

Iranian Elections

This could be the time
Smell of change is in the air
jk, lol

Feelin' Swine

Mexican vacay
It will not happen to me
Should have worn a mask

Good Luck with the Wildcat

Philadelphia
Eagles have a new QB
Lassie sheds a tear

Talk About Disterbia

Punches raining down
Wish I had my umbrella
Chris Brown's latest hit

I'll Have a Sam Adams

Next time you're locked out
Try to not yell at the cops
Unless you are white

You Can Be Bosley

Farrah Fawcett was
One of Charlie's best Angels
Now literally

Guest Posts!

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have our first reader submitted posts!

These come courtesy of Tobey Reed:

For MJ

Silly little man
Not quite black enough for us
Sound of child crying

Clean My Soul

Like a streak on tile
Billy Mays life flashes by
Screaming too loudly

Call Now!

King of Pop is dead
Billy Mays not far behind
Buy one, get one free

#32

Basketball genius
Diagnosed with HIV
Not so Magic now

The People's Princess

A woman from Wales
Driving too fast late at night
Candle in the wind

Welcome!

Welcome to Too Soonkus!

What is Too Soonkus you ask?

The world loves haikus. The world also loves jokes that are...too soon. So why not put them together (besides, of course, a sense of common decency)?

In case you're unaware, a haiku is a form of Japanese poetry. It is comprised of three lines: the first line is 5 syllables, the second is 7 syllables and the third line is 5 syllables.

We're welcome to any suggestions for events that may or may not be too soon to joke about. Just email us at toosoonkus@gmail.com

Thanks, and welcome!